Wednesday, January 04, 2006

He is the potter, and I am the clay...

A vessel of Honor he wants me to stay...

God is so good.

I'm a first year teacher, and it seems that last semester was a time of constant stress. (That is, except when I'm wasted time on the 'net.) And so I took full advantage of my time off this Christmas to relax. And I put off grading.

When I finally got to the point that I could (and wanted to) grade papers--I knew I was going to have some sleepless nights... and even then, I didn't know what I was going to do. I had a ton of essays to grade.

But when I stumble, and fall, and my vessel breaks....

God's sovereignty is amazing--and His blessings even more so.

We've had amazing services in church lately. God has come down, and blessed us so much. It seems as if it's a process--of slowly centering me once more on Him, no matter what comes or goes. Wednesday's service was wonderful, and on Saturday we had a watch-night service. The presence of the Holy Ghost filled the church--God calling me back to His throne, into His presence.

There is healing in Communion.

I know this, because Brother Branham said it... and I've now experienced it. For myself. Because my broken, wounded spirit was healed by His balm.

Sunday night after service, I lay in my room upstairs--and instead of focusing on the book I was escaping to, I started to think about the Lord, and all He's done for me. For some reason, my mind went back to a series my pastor had preached on Brother Branham's sermon, How Can I Overcome. When my pastor preached this, I was seeking for the Holy Ghost--But I wasn't yet surrendered. I knew it, too. As I listened to the message, I yearned for the Holy Ghost--yet I wasn't willing to give up.

Looking back on that time in my life, and comparing it with now... I realized: When you receive the Holy Ghost, you receive the power you need to overcome anything Satan might throw into your face. I'd known this for--oh, I don't know how long. But what I hadn't realized was, it's not me. I, as in my flesh, will never have the power to overcome Satan in this life. Because as much as we might try to patch, comfort, and beautify this flesh, it's not redeemed, and it will not be until we are in our ought-to-be condition-- glorified, sinless bodies.

But when you've surrendered over--when you realize it must be Him, and not you, that completes the work; that conquers the trial--it makes all the difference in the world.

I'd been trying to wage the war with the wrong tools. I'd been trying to fight battles myself, instead of simply surrendering. So this time, I prayed that God would allow me to just yield to Him, rather than fight with my two weak hands. And this whole grading thing--it allowed me the chance to put God to the test.

This morning, I laid on my face, and knew that if God didn't help me somehow-- I just wasn't going to get my grades in. And so I called on His help--realizing that I just wasn't good enough. I knew it was my fault. But I still needed His power and help.

Remember the ice storm that wasn't, yet we still didn't have power? Well. At lunchtime, I got an email. Because of our "snow days", the High Schools were still taking exams, and the District Office moved the Report Card distribution date to later. Which gave me an extension on how long I had to upload my grades. I know--still--that I should have already completed my grades. I know it was my fault. But yet, even in my fault, He had mercy. He knew what I needed--even before I knew it. He always does.
He just picks up the pieces; He doesn't throw the clay away.

Guess what tonight's service was on? The Faithfulness of God--to us.


Posted via web from marielenora's posterous

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