I have this week off-- a week away from students and (some) stress-- a week to gain back what has been lost in the times when I've been too busy.
The first couple of days were spent between battle and rest. Rest for the body; battle for the mind.
The battle was over things I want from life-- things I've prayed for. Things I believe for. Things I'm learning patience for. And sometimes, I want them now. Sometimes I hurt, because I feel the holes where those wishes belong. And sometimes, if I'm not careful, the wishing can lead to the mire of self-pity. Especially when I feel the weight of a thousand things unfinished at work and at school, much less at home.
Enter Wednesday night. Torn and wounded in spirit, I make my way to church. And then I hear the Lord speak to my heart: I hear you--I've already heard your cry. I'm already working; be patient. Broken before Him, I find the empty places filled. What does a man profit if he gain the whole world and loose his soul?
It reminds me of a quote I recently heard:
63-0421 VICTORY.DAY_ SIERRA.VISTA.AZ SUNDAY_
135 Don't despise where God has got you. But, serve your
purpose. There's coming a great victory day, one of these days, where the battle
It seems like, the Christian life, if the fellow is not absolutely centered on
Christ, the Christian life, seems like, holds so many disappointments. But those
disappointments are--are God's Divine will happening for us. Now, it don't seem
like it would be that, but it's God's way of doing things. He lets us hit the
river, to see what we'll do.
150 God lets disappointments happen, to show
victory. Oh, if we could only see that! See? You'd only see that these things
that seems to be so burring you, and upsetting you, they are trials. They are
things, to stand still, focus your glasses on the Word of God. And speak the
Word, and then just walk forward. That's all there is to do
it.151 We get to a time, we say, "God, I don't know what to
do. I'm up against it."152 Speak the word, "Lord, I believe."
And just start walking forward. God does the opening up of the sea. You just
keep walking. See?
And I begin again-- focusing on Christ, who is my life, and believing for the future.